Cassandra Nicole,
It's 2am and Warhola and I just came in- I met him at The Port of Call and we longboarded home. Thank Jimi again for Penny Long, the damn thing has saved me again and again. My legs are so sore, almost screaming. All the art that was on my walls at my apartment on Oxford Place is now on my vanity. L7 tape cover, Hole tape cover, The Smiths, Bikini Kill picture from our notebook. Sadly nostalgic but mean something to me now. I can't believe that I'm so far away from you Mama Bones. Remeber me? Ruin? Eats brains for breakfast and hearts for lunch? Who carried a crowbar and splashed with you in puddles on our high school track mats? Sometimes I'm worried that I'm going soft. Where is the fire that burned us up? You are stuck and I hurt over it. You are my girlheart and the one true girlfriend I have, and now you are so far away....I miss smoking js and listening to Karen O on a tummy filled with Mickeys. MYSTERY GIRL, MYSTERY GIRL! Mella and I talked for like 45 minutes last night and it was insane how she, although she has never met you, could be thinking the exact same thing I was.
I (we) propose:
When your lease is up at Mariposa, come live with Thomas and I (or just I, if Thomas gets into school in the Iron City) for 6 months. Don't break up with Jimi, just come stay with me for 6 months, away from everyone, where it's just you and you can focus on your art/mental health/whatever. Then when 6 months is up, make a descion. Go back to Jimi in Denver, stay here, whatever. But you have been with someone forever, and when does Cassandy get time to grow herself, and exist just for herself?
Think about it.
I'm exhausted and the boys are talking buisness and I just want to go to bed and then go to the library tomorrow. I'm so sore and Warhola promised to rub my legs to make them feel better. I can't believe my brothers are coming to visit so soon. 5 days for my tiger, 12 for brofus. I will probably break down and cry when I see Tony, I have no writer friends but him, no one understands my fucked up neurotic emotional behavior like he does. Danzig was jealous of it and hated me/him, most people (i.e Kristen or maybe even Thomas) are angry about it. I will know that person for the rest of my life, and I know he will always be there to sing Patti Smith songs with me or reply to my text messages at 3am when I'm so fucked up that puke is coming out my nose when I'm half naked on my bathroom floor, or tell me that my writing is shit or whatever. And I hope that I am kind of like that for you. And here is me telling you,
GET BORN, IT IS TIME TO LIVE FREE.
j'adore mon amie!
Jasmine
RUIN
Rebel Girl
Stumbleine
Girlheart
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